James Bond and Batman were both known for one thing…gadgets. If you’ve ever seen either man in action, you know that the strength of their characters didn’t come from supernatural abilities or over-the-top powers but rather from some technologically advanced gizmo they carried around with them. Ever imagine what it would be like to have any of those gadgets in real life? Well so did I.
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There are countless imaginary devices and technological goodies to choose from, but for now, check out these 5 wacky gadgets that would be great to have in real life.
Ejector Seats (For Cars)
The “Ejector Seat” is a way of swiftly getting rid of unwanted passengers in a vehicle. Just about every super sleuth or secret agent has utilized one of these devices at some point during their proverbial careers. Its concept is basic enough; equip a seat with some type of spring-loaded mechanism and wait for unwitting prey to take the laxed bait. This would be awesome in cabs or limousines whose client gets unruly, and can also even be used to help settle arguments between lovers. Seriously, there’s no better way to make a point to your stubborn significant other than by jettison-ing them from your car in front of their mother’s house mid-tantrum, is there? If ejector seats became commonplace, I’d imagine that local governments would have to revise what is and isn’t considered “Domestic Violence.”
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Let’s be clear: this gadget is NOT an actual gun, meaning it doesn’t shoot bullets or similar objects intended to hurt someone. Instead, a grappling “gun” sends out hooks that can be used to repel or ascend from situations. They are generally some type of claw used to grab something above, and at the user’s command, pull them up from where they stand. Remember that video game “Bionic Commando?” Anyway, the awesome part of this gadget is its reliability at getting you the hell out of dodge when necessary, however the downside is that it doesn’t move you in any direction but straight up to higher ground. If there is nothing to grapple onto, you’re stuck. Let’s say some bad guys are chasing you to retrieve the valuable gemstones that you’ve stolen from their secret lair and you suddenly find yourself trapped at a dead end. The grappling hook may lift you to “safety,” but that’s about all it will do. You’re now dangling above your attempted captors, helpless. After that unilateral move, you’d better start swinging like a Tarzan during mating season or pray the goons get bored and go back home.
Magnetic boots work on the premise that the surface you’re attempting to scale is metal. Depending on the sensitivity of the boots, any wall or building with metal in or on it is fair game to be walked up. Or down. Magnetic boots have appeared in plenty of sci-fi films and spy stories over the years, usually in the hands of some dastardly uber-villian trying to find a slick way into a building. In real life, I can totally see magnetic boots giving criminals the upper hand in their attempted cat burglaries. However, make no mistake; while it may seem like you’d look cool walking vertically, gravity & body weight have other plans for you. Without mastering the art of levitation, all magnetic boots will help you get is back pain and ruptured Achilles tendons, word to Kobe Bryant.
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X-Ray Vision Glasses
X-Ray vision is perhaps the creepiest ability to have, especially if you can’t control it. What begins as an attempt to gander beyond a well-endowed blouse could easily become an up-close & personal look at a women’s heart beating. Gross. X-Ray glasses have appeared in comic books ads, movies, and cartoons for as long back as I can remember, and I can only assume it’s not that far off in the future. It would make a doctor’s job easier, along with the dozens of other occupations where knowledge of what’s behind a barrier would be helpful. Not to mention how it could potentially help people avoid unseen dangers. But…this gadget would take man’s compulsion with perversion to a whole new level. And that’s probably why they don’t exist, yet. You think you don’t have privacy now, just wait until Peeping Tom has the ability to see into your bedroom without a ladder, binoculars, or the cover of darkness.
Jet packs have been a hush-hush project for NASA for decades. There is plenty of old footage out there suggesting that the notion of a man flying without an actual machine moved beyond being just a novel idea long ago. We’ve all seen that video footage of men lumbering through the skies with a cumbersome engine strapped to them, and it doesn’t look like fun or convenient. But in actuality, with drones now legally authorized to peruse the sky, I guarantee that someone like Richard Branson is looking to give man the same option. Truth be told, I’d want one just to glide above pigeons resting atop utility poles and poop on THEM for once. Car sales (and gasoline prices) would inevitably go down as a result of jet packs hitting the market, which may play a role in why no major corporation would fund this product. When it’s all said and done, though, humans thrive on technological advancement, and I don’t doubt that at some point during the next 50 years jet packs will become a reality on some level. And really though…nothing on earth is better than flying away. That’s reason enough to start saving your money right now.
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