Dating in the new millennium comes with new rules (and new headaches). Those of us who remember a “kinder, gentler” style of dating are often very frustrated with some of the new trends. The article “18 Ugly Truths About Modern Dating” outline the new dating trends accurately, much to our chagrin. Here are a few of the “Ugly Truths” that are mentioned in the article:
1. The person who cares less has all the power. Nobody wants to be the one who’s more interested.
2. Because we want to show how cavalier and blasé we can be to the other person, little psychological games like ‘Intentionally Take Hours Or Days To Text Back’ will happen. They aren’t fun.
3. A person being carefree because they have zero interest in you looks exactly like a person being carefree because they think you’re amazing & are making a conscious effort to play it cool. Good luck deciphering between the two.
4. Making phone calls is a dying art. Chances are, most of your relationship’s communication will happen via text, which is the most detached, impersonal form of interaction. Get familiar with those emoticon options. (CLICK HERE for the rest of the article)
This is sad but true and antics like those mentioned above makes any “older” single person long for “old-fashioned” style of dating. Here’s my list of old school dating styles that need to make a come back:
- Conversation BEFORE asking for the number. “Yo shorty, what’s up with the digits?” Should have never become acceptable enough to garner a response that included “the digits.”
- Phone Calls. Communication is becoming a dying art. Today, many fee that text messaging is significant communication. Um, it’s not. It’s called “messaging” not “talking” for a reason.
- Being a Gentleman/Lady.
a. this behavior includes men holding doors
b. pulling out chairs, walking on the outside of the lady when they are in the street
c. dressing up for the date
d. meet her at the door not wait for her in the car
e. Women that means allowing him to open the doors, pull out chairs, etc.
- Not Rushing Into Intimacy/Relationship. “Mama used to say, take your time young man” and she said that for a reason. Get to know the person before you become a part of them. It could save you a big headache down the road.
- Go Out. Yes the economy is tough but can we continue to use that as an excuse for spending most of your dates in the house? Let’s bring back the low-cost creative dates of yesteryear and get out and enjoy that person in a variety of settings.
- Go Dancing. There was magic on the dance floor when you had the chance to slow dance with the person who makes your heart skip a beat. Many clubs and parties don’t play music you can slow dance to but you can always go salsa dancing!
- Be Open and Vulnerable. Love is a gamble but you can win if you don’t play. You can’t keep your guard up all the time. Take a chance and let someone in, just take your time.
- Buy Flowers/ Make Thoughtful Gestures. Showing someone you are thinking of them is a beautiful thing. It’s only creepy when you go overboard, so don’t go overboard.
- Say It To Their Face Not Facebook. Your feelings about the person you’re dating are best expressed in a one on one setting, not broadcast to the whole world. If you need advice oh how to respond to their behavior find someone to talk to…face to face. Your relationship does not need to be an internet reality show.
- Be Clear About What You’re Doing. It used to be simple, dating, if you like each other, talk often, spend lots of time together you were in a relationship and it was okay to make such a declaration. There seem to be so many in between steps to a relationship now that many people end up in the “hanging out” and “we’re just talking” limbo. This type of relationship purgatory is intensified if sex is involved. Let’s be brave and make a clear choices.
These are just a few of the old school dating styles I would like to see make a comeback. If you have others you would like to list please leave a comment below.