One husband kept a running tally of how many times he gets to sleep with his wife, and the numbers aren’t looking to him.
Reddit user throwwwwaway29 told the multi-forum Website that her sexually frustrated spouse sent her a spreadsheet of all the times that she shot him down in the last six weeks! The sample runs from June 3 to July 16, give or take a few a days.
The stunned wife, who was leaving town for a trip, shared that she found out about her husband’s lack of satisfaction when he sent the document to her work email! The document even included a column for all of the reasons she said she didn’t want to have sex. Among them were “I’m exhausted,” “I’m still a bit tender from yesterday” (they’d been intimate the night before), and “I might be getting sick.”
“He’s never done this, we always communicate in person or by text. I open it up, and it’s a sarcastic diatribe basically saying he won’t miss me for the 10 days I’m gone,” she wrote. “Attached is a SPREADSHEET of all the times he has tried to initiate sex since June 1st, with a column for my “excuses”, using verbatim quotes of why I didn’t feel like having sex at that very moment”.
In all, they’ve slept together three times in the last six weeks. It’s not that throwwwwaway29 hasn’t noticed a dip in the romance department, but she’s got other things on her mind. “Our sex life HAS tapered in the last few months, but isn’t that allowed?” she asked in the post, which has since been removed from the Website. “We are adults leading busy, stressful lives. I cook for him, I do his laundry, I keep our house clean and tidy.”
She added, “It’s not like our sex life was going to be this way FOREVER, it was a temporary slow-down due to extenuating circumstances.”
It’s a wonderful thing that her husband has such strong desire for her, but this was very poorly handled on his part. She shouldn’t have to fulfull a physical quota simply because he’s in the mood. Coercion is not the same thing as consent. If anything, it’s not that far off of rape without actually being the text book definition of rape.
In case you were wondering, the defnition of sexual coercion is “the act of using pressure, substances, or force to have sexual contact with someone against his or her will.” This spreadsheet is nothing if not documented pressure, and we hope they figure out a constructive way to handle this like adults.