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Desiigner is now known mostly for being the most energetic person in hip-hop…and probably the world.

During a recent interview on Snoop Dogg’s GGN News, the Brooklyn rapper was asked where he gets all of his energy from. After first saying he simply enjoys making other people happy, Desiigner revealed there was a time in his life when he actually thought about killing himself. According to the “Panda” rapper, the thought came after a rap battle he was apart of with some friends from South Carolina–The battle left Desiigner depressed and contemplating suicide.

“I went home, I said, f**k that s**t, Im’a kill myself. The second I said that shit, I got scared as hell. I got scared cause I told myself that. So when I told myself that, I’m like, nah, I ain’t killin’ myself. So from there on, I always kept a smile on my face… There’s so much more I can do. I can never kill myself.”

via Bossip