After opting to watch the drama on Basketball Wives instead of Married At First Sight Wednesday night, I found myself behind one episode. To be honest, I’m a new MAFS fan after friends convinced me it’s must-see TV and for the most part, it is quite entertaining. Two strangers, matched together, who don’t see their spouse until they’re walking down the aisle… Sounds like reality TV gold, right? It is. I finally gave in and I’ve been thoroughly invested ever since. However, as of late, it’s been kinda boring thus leaving room for BBallWives to creep in on its Wednesday night spot.
If you haven’t been keeping up with MAFS, newly married couple Iris Caldwell and Keith Manley are faced with sort of an “issue” in their relationship. Iris is a virgin and not just a virgin, the type of virgin who has seemingly tied her self worth to her purity and believes her virginity is her greatest gift to the world/ her husband. Before you throw the Bible at me, I’m not bashing her choice to save herself for marriage. I’m more concerned that she’s placed all her worth in her virginity. But once that’s gone, because you only get one, what does that mean for you as a woman?
Upon meeting Iris for the first time, on the season opening episode where she and the other show participants shop for their wedding dresses and tuxedos, Iris is adamant she must find a white dress. Not a “regular white” dress, one with pristine whiteness that radiates like freshly fallen snow at the height of winter. Because she hopes her soon-to-be husband notices that her white dress is the whitest of whites, therefore denoting she is a virgin.
At another point in the episode, Iris’ mother asks her new son-in-law, “She’s wearing a white dress. Do you know what that means?” Clearly apart of the storyline, Keith is oblivious. As any man would be because we’re in 2019 and most brides wear white, even if their daughter is the flower girl or son the ring-bearer.
Fast-forward some episodes and Iris’ virginity is becoming an issue. More so because of her sexual immaturity and false value placed on her virginity more than the fact that she is a virgin. She refers to her virginity as “a precious gift” and other odd personifications that make it more of an entity than an experience. Iris is confused why her husband isn’t over the moon that she is a virgin and having a hard time even talking about sex. *Cue the really, really awkward scene when Keith reveals his favorite position is back shots* She squirms, giggles and is easily embarrassed during intimate dialogue. It’s a turn-off.
During a therapy session, the therapist suggested Iris stop using the term “take my virginity” because it denotes she is giving something away and possibly hiding behind it.
There’s nothing wrong with being a virgin, if that’s what you choose, it’s when virginity becomes more of a gift than the actual self that it becomes a problem. Religion, bolstered by society’s perception, has taught women to suppress their sexuality and bottle it up as this offering to a man. Iris is confused because she placed more value on her “purity” than in her person and led with her virginity as her biggest selling point. What about brains, personality, sense of humor and the other things that attract men to women? Better yet, the other things that keep a man when sex is over? Iris placed too much value on her virginity and now she’s crippled by it. It could be fear that once it’s gone, she has nothing special left to offer or the notion that all her life she thought her husband would be impressed by her offering that has her spooked; whatever it is, it’s hindering her marriage and utterly annoying to watch.
What say you readers?