Every Monday morning I pick a relationship question, from my email, and answer it on the air anonymously. Here’s this week’s question:
Q: i recently was separated from my wife and started a new relationship , thinking that my separation was turning into a divorce, but things drastically changed with the wife and me got back together, i still have feelings for the other woman and she does for me also but i have hurt her terribly, i still love my wife and are glad we have reconciled but cant just turn off the feelings i developed for the other woman. the other woman and i have not seen each other but do still im each other. what to do??? ps if i hadnt reconciled the other woman and i would be together, she is perfect for me.
A: I think you’re being a little greedy Mr. Man!! (:-)) You made the choice to work things out with your wife. If this were my man, I’d want him to stop communicating with this woman immediately! In my opinion, keeping the line of communication open with “the other woman” is not fair to your wife or the “other woman.” No one likes the feeling of being strung along.
It sounds to me like at one point you had the option of making the “other woman” your main squezze, when you and your wife seperated. I’m sure if she is perfect for you now, then she probably was then too. So if you were dating the “other woman” and working on things with your wife. Now your back with your wife and thinking about the “other woman.” In my opinion the cycle needs to stop. You made the decision to be with your wife, so stick it out and make that work. If you hurt the ‘other woman’ “terribly” don’t hurt her anymore than you have.
Walking away won’t be easy! It’s never easy to try and ignore the feelings you have for someone. But the right thing is usually never easy.
Remember: The grass always looks greener. Most times, it’s not~
THANK YOU FOR WRITING IN! IT’S YOUR LETTERS THAT MAKES THIS SEGMENT SO SUCCESSFUL!!!!!