Sometimes women like to make themselves be guilt free in the demise of their relationship. Truth be told, as much as we would like to believe it, we are not perfect either. We too commit acts that may lead to the relationship ending, pushing our man out of our lives or him cheating. This is a short list of some of the things we do to lead to a relationship ending.
1. Give That Man His Space
It annoys me when I see a woman who is so far up her man’s anal plug that he is unable to have his own life, spend time with his friends or do anything that he enjoys without her presence or permission. A healthy relationship consists of two people who have their own lives but come together and enjoy that time together. Not a morphed spawn of two people who have been attached together by the hip. Let your man hang out with his boys. It will make him appreciate you more and he will think you are a cool girlfriend. It is also healthy that you have your own life as well. Spend time with your friends. Just because you are in a relationship does not mean that now you should lose all sense of self.
2. No Love For The Constant Bossy Chick
I am a very assertive woman by nature. I am a leader and I like to be in control. I know this about myself. I also know that most men are only receptive to this to a certain extent. At first he might dig your whole I am a Diva Beyonce/ I’m Bossy Kelis routine. However, after some time, the s**t is going to annoy him and it might push him into the arms of a seemingly less controlling woman. Relinquishing the control can be difficult for some women because men are usually less mature than us (in our opinions) and some women see them as being childlike in their behavior at times. No one wants to give a child a leadership role. Ladies, sometimes you are going to have to. Sometimes, it is okay to allow him to be the leader. As I stated before even I battle with this occasionally. I have had to learn to trust him to sometimes lead us and take control as well. Otherwise I could not be with him. If you are with someone who you could never see yourself trusting to lead for whatever reason then maybe he is not the right guy for you. Might be time for an upgrade. I’m just sayin’….
(sidenote: Not every man you encounter is worth you altering your personality for or growing internally for/with. Find out whether he is worth this type of effort and willing to do some growing for you as well. This way you will avoid your feelings of stupidity later)
3. Sometimes…. Shut Up!!!
I know my sista girls. We like to be right. We like to give the old “I told yo’ a** so” line. We feed of the I’m a know it all tree. I’m here to tell you that sometimes ladies, you are going to have to sit down and shut the f**k up. Sometimes you being right is not worth pushing him away or elongating an argument. Not every argument is worth you putting your heart and soul into proving your point. It is okay for you let him have one. Like the old saying goes, pick you battles. This is true on so many levels and can crossover from your romantic life to your dealings in your professional life, friendships, family etc.. Sometimes silence and not nagging the s**t out of him is the best response.
4. Constantly Accusing Him Of Cheating
This has to be the number one complaint from men about their girlfriends/wives. I’m not a fool. Sometimes, the men really are cheating and just want to try to manipulate the situation by making the chick feel guilty even though he has clearly been caught in a lie. Then there are other times when the women is being paranoid. Men do not want to come to their homes and be constantly accused of committing every relationship crime known to man or feel like they are under investigation. For some brothas they get enough untrustworthy stares from strangers while living their every day lives. Especially when there is no truth to your line of questioning. You are on the road to pushing him right out of your life. Hell, if he is cheating on you as often as you perceive him to be then why the hell are you with him?
5. Treating Him Like He Is Beneath You
If you are in a situation where as you make more money than your man, or your career is on the right path and he is still trying to figure out what he wants to do in life, there is no need to throw it in his face. This is another form of you emasculating him. Men hate that! Okay, so your check could squash, tample, pound, bruise, crush, flatten, jam, kill, macerate, mash, beat into a pulp, scrunch, sit on, his check with ease. Why constantly remind him of that?