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  1. If all you are bringing to the gathering is a can of cranberry sauce or some napkins DO NOT ask “what time are we eating”
  2. As in years past, this is not the day for rookies to want to debut their culinary skills. Grab a bag of Hawaiian Bread and be done. (Girl Bye)
  3. Burnt food does not get a pass if you call it “Blackened” or “Cajun”
  4. There has been a revision to previous year beverage rules: Faygo is acceptable at everyone’s house who is not in your immediate family UNLESS you are only going to this house for dinner.
  5. Watch your own kids
  6. Bring your own phone chargers, the host is not responsible for charging your devices 
  7. No one wants to play “who’s got me blocked in” all night. Park so that you can get out if you know you’re gonna be leaving early. 
  8. New boo’s are not acceptable if you did not bring them around on Labor Day, or two Sundays ago.
  9. Only the lady of the house can rock the witness protection program wig (unless she can’t cook)
  10. No raisins in potato salad. Failure to comply with this will cause you to immediately have to leave the premises… Bye Karen
  11. When it’s time to clean, if you’re still there you are to clean as well. The only people who can give you a pardon for cleaning are the hosts of the house, who technically are probably not going to do that so just get up and start cleaning. It’s not their fault you didn’t leave 45 mins earlier. 
  12. If you wear lashes, put them on after you have finished standing over the stove. We do not want them in the mac and cheese or causing the water not to boil on the stove because you keep blinking and it’s cooling the water off. 
  13. If we put music on, you don’t say “oooh, can I listen to” if you didn’t start the music, you don’t get a choice until hour number two.
  14. If you need a ride home, arrange that before clean up begins. 
  15. If we send you to the store for anything, HURRY BACK!! We ain’t got all day cause the can of cranberry sauce people are asking “when are we gonna eat”
  16. DIDN’T I SAY WATCH YOUR OWN DAMN KIDS?!?!!
  17. If you have bad breath, you are not allowed to say any words up close that begin with the letter H or W 
  18. Nobody and I mean NOBODY better sit in Big Momma’s spot, unless you want to get (blanked) up! 
  19. No one is allowed to play Tonk, Spades, Bis Whist or Dice, Due to what happened to Uncle Fred last year 
  20. THIS LAST ONE HAS TWO PARTS ONE: DON’T BRING YOUR OWN TAKE HOME PLATE, FOIL OR TUPPERWARE! TWO: IF YOU KNOW YOU DON’T GET ALONG WITH A CERTAIN FAMILY MEMBER PLEASE DON’T BRING THAT BS ENERGY TO THE DINNER AND RUIN IT FOR THOSE OF US WHO ARE JUST GRATEFUL FOR LIFE, FAMILY AND HEALTH. 

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