Now I didn’t write these myself so don’t get mad at me but I did find these to be quite hilarious. A lot of my friends probably won’t have an iPad but I bet if they had these apps my friends would definitely be trying to cop on. Shout out to Ray of Hipolicy Magazine for getting me hip. Would you buy an iPad if it had these apps?
1. Real-Time Ghetto Brawls
Take advantage of the smash hit underground DVD series, “Ghetto Fights” with Real-Time Ghetto Brawls. This app would allow users to view around-the-way fights pulled from video phones at lightning speed. Users can browse brawls using a crystal clear interface and even cheer them on using a special microphone attachment — at an additional cost.
2. Baby Daddy Tracker
While this would require the surreptitious hiding of a tracking device on your baby daddy’s person — it could be a “gift” of a key chain or necklace — once the device is in place Google Maps would enable you to find your baby daddy no matter where he is. No more missed child support payments! Can also work for probation officers.
3. National Hair Weave Price Index
Ever get that sneaking suspicion your hairdresser is cheating you on the price of your hair? Or that you could get a better sew-in a couple of states over? No need to worry. With the National Hair Weave Price Index, black women everywhere will be able to enter the real prices of their weaves and weigh the cost against the quality with a uniform rating system. A stock-like ticker will list the relative values of different hair textures, stylists and procedures. The National Lace Front Index would be the next obvious step.
4. International Jump Off Organizer
This will be a necessary tool for any man who has ever wondered if he’s slept with a woman that his boys have also sampled or even wanted to track down a particular jump off. With this tool, men can use their social network to list, rank and recommend jump offs, as well as know who to avoid for reasons like disease or insanity.
5. Should I Smack This &%#!?
If you are a wronged woman, pimp or just plain mad at someone, the Should I Smack This &%#!? app will take you through a series of questions and calculations that will weigh what the person has done versus the potential fines and penalties in your state and the likelihood of getting away with the crime. No more taking impulsive action and paying the consequences later!
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