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2015 BET Awards - Arrivals

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Author and relationship guru, Demetria Lucas, announced that she has left her husband after only being married for two years.

The former star“Blood, Sweet and Heels” reality shared her bad news via Instagram in an open post where she revealed that she and estranged husband Greg Doyley were having trouble for a year.

While she doesn’t get into details about what caused the marriage to fall apart, she is clear: “He didn’t beat me.”

“I think it’s tacky to drag a partner or spouse publicly, so that’s all I have to say about that,” Lucas wrote. “I only mention that because a surprising number of people have asked, and upon hearing he didn’t, have encouraged me to work it out. Apparently being beat on is the only acceptable reason to leave your husband.”

She adds, “So what if a woman is perpetually unhappy, keeping a husband is far more important than that.”

I left my husband. That’s why I don’t wear my ring. I woke up on my birthday in July and instead of celebrating, I was thinking of ways to die. Our marriage had been in shambles for nearly a year. I think it’s tacky to drag a partner or spouse publicly, so that’s all I have to say about that. He didn’t beat me. I only mention that because a surprising number of people have asked, and upon hearing he didn’t, have encouraged me to work it out. Apparently being beat on is the only acceptable reason to leave your husband. So what if a woman is perpetually unhappy, keeping a husband is far more important than that. I chose life. I’m glad I did. I’ve been working on getting to happy. It’s been hard. I’ve been consumed with shame, embarrassment, insecurity and fear. Over the last five months, I’ve been told that having a husband validated me, that he gave me credibility and I will be nothing without him. I’ve been told no one will want me. I’ve been told my career as a life coach, dating/ relationship expert and author is over. Maybe if I had been in a better place, I wouldn’t have believed those things. I am in a better place now. I decided not to be held hostage by fear and shame, or hurt and regret and anything else that keeps me from living my best life. I decided not to waste my pretty. I go out, and I dress up, and I smile despite what I’m going through. I chant the lyrics to Anthony Brown’s “Worth” on the treadmill. I have a therapist. I read a lot of autobiographies and self-help books. On days I don’t feel good enough, I celebrate someone who I think is. I have friends who ask, “You ok, Sis?” Sometimes yes, sometimes no. There are days I still pull my truck over in the emergency lane and cry. I wish our marriage could have lasted. To do so would have required me to suffer in silence indefinitely. I tried and failed at that too. I don’t know what all the lessons in this are yet, but I am actively trying to discover them. One thing I’ve (re)learned is the truth of my grandmother’s words, “just keep going”. My world imploded and I faced all my worst fears at once. What I thought would destroy me, did not. I am grateful. #dontwasteyourpretty

A post shared by Demetria L. Lucas (@demetriallucas) on

 

The former Essence editor said that given her expertise, she feels “embarrassed” that her marriage is in shambles, especially since she gave so much advice to other women about how to find and keep a man.

“Over the last five months, I’ve been told that having a husband validated me, that he gave me credibility and I will be nothing without him. I’ve been told no one will want me. I’ve been told my career as a life coach, dating/ relationship expert and author is over. Maybe if I had been in a better place, I wouldn’t have believed those things.”

She also shared that despite having her bad days, she is in a “much better place.”

“I decided not to waste my pretty. I go out, and I dress up, and I smile despite what I’m going through,” she wrote. “I chant the lyrics to Anthony Brown’s “Worth” on the treadmill. I have a therapist. I read a lot of autobiographies and self-help books. There are days I still pull my truck over in the emergency lane and cry.”

In the end, Lucas admits that she is just trying to figure it all out.

“I don’t know what all the lessons in this are yet, but I am actively trying to discover them,” Lucas says. “One thing I’ve (re)learned is the truth of my grandmother’s words, ‘just keep going’. My world imploded and I faced all my worst fears at once. What I thought would destroy me, did not. I am grateful.”

This is sad. Keep your head up Demetria.

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Oh No! Author And Blogger Demetria Lucas Reveals She Left Her Husband was originally published on hellobeautiful.com

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