A letter I recieved from a man:
Q:I have been in a relationship for 7 years everything was good for the first 5 years until Idid some female stuff and went through her text messages like she had done me in the past.well i got what i was looking for, she had been sexting a guy whom she work with and claimed they were friends. I mean real freaky stuff that i cant even repeat without making me sick. By all means i havent been perfect in the past, but we got thru it. now I dont trust her, it seems like the roles have reversed. She sleeps with her phone under the pillow. She calls me weak and a runner for wanting to leave. She admitted cheating. But she always throw what i did in 2004 at me. What would the future hold if i went back to that relationship. Is it even possible, when she works wit the guy that she cheated with?
A:Seven years is a lot of time to just throw away, if you’re not SURE it’s you’re ready to throw in the towel. In my opinion, there’s some ‘good stuff’ inside the seven years you’ve spent together. The question I have for you is “is that good stuff, enough to carry you through this tough spell?” Although, trust can definitely on deal breaker!!
The fact that you cheated on her, and she cheated on you, may mean you both can call it even and put your unfaithful actions behind you. If both of you agree on trying to make it work, I would involve a thrid party. A pastor, a counsler, or someone who can remain neutral.
Moving forward is going to be WORK! But if you’re determined to be together than it may worth it! You’re both going to have to trust each other!! And yes even when she’s at work. The truth is, if she wants to cheat again, she will. No matter where she works, or hangs out etc.
If you feel like trying to trust her is going to be too challanging, you may have to just walk away, start fresh and know what NOT to do next time.