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Because if you spend too much time finding/opening/chilling your alcohol, you won’t have as much time to drink it. SOURCE

1. Keep your pitcher cold yet undiluted with a plastic cup of ice.

Keep your pitcher cold yet undiluted with a plastic cup of ice.

Source: instagram.com

2. Or the bottom half of a two-liter bottle.

Or the bottom half of a two-liter bottle.

Just cut the plastic bottle in half, fill with ice water and garnishes, and put in the liquor bottle.

3. Or in salted ice.

Or in salted ice.

This’ll get your beverage cold in a hurry.

Source: instagram.com

4. Or with frozen grapes.

Or with frozen grapes.

5. Or nature.

Or nature.

Source: instagram.com
6.

Source: instagram.com
7.

Source: instagram.com

8. Or a boat.

Or a boat.

Who doesn’t have a spare boat filled with ice, is my question.

Source: pinterest.com

9. Freeze your leftover* wine to use in sauces.

Freeze your leftover* wine to use in sauces.

*HAHAHAHAHHAHA.

10. Keep your beers neatly stacked in the fridge with a binder clip.

Keep your beers neatly stacked in the fridge with a binder clip.

Source: instagram.com

11. Bring your drink anywhere with Sneaky Shorts.

Bring your drink anywhere with Sneaky Shorts.

AKA the most well-named product ever. Buy them here.

12. Learn the sacred truth that you can open a beer with anything, like a plug.

Learn the sacred truth that you can open a beer with anything, like a plug.

Source: instagram.com

13. And a door.

And a door.

Source: instagram.com

14. Another beer.

Another beer.

Source: i.imgur.com

15. With a sword.

With a sword.

No, srsly. Anderson Cooper not included.

Source: delish.com

16. A stapler.

A stapler.

Here’s how.

17. A cell phone.

A cell phone.

You have to buy this case first.

Source: amazon.com

18. The handles of a can opener.

The handles of a can opener.

Source: instagram.com

19. Why use a manual corkscrew when you can do it in a tenth of the time with a drill?

Why use a manual corkscrew when you can do it in a tenth of the time with a drill?

Source: instagram.com

20. Know how much you’re drinking.

Know how much you're drinking.

According to Solo, this isn’t actually true, but hey, ballpark awareness is better than none.

Source: kottke.org

21. Make a delightful memento out of a champagne cork.

Make a delightful memento out of a champagne cork.

Perfect for the littlest dinner party!

Source: pinterest.com

22. Create your own R2-Booze2.

Create your own R2-Booze2.

Source: pinterest.com

23. Use a rake to cheaply and easily store wine glasses.

Use a rake to cheaply and easily store wine glasses.

24. If you don’t feel like DRINKING-drinking, make moonshine marshmallows.

If you don't feel like DRINKING-drinking, make moonshine marshmallows.

Directions here.

Source: food52.com

25. Or vodka-soaked oranges.

Or vodka-soaked oranges.

Directions here.

Source: pepper.ph

26. A boozy sundae:

A boozy sundae:

Directions here.

27. Drunken gummy bears:

Drunken gummy bears:

Directions here.

28. One of many booze cakes:

One of many booze cakes:

Get the book here.

29. Or, for the more literally-minded:

Or, for the more literally-minded:

30. And most importantly: Ensure you’ll never spill your beer again.

And most importantly: Ensure you'll never spill your beer again.