Authorities in LeBron James’ hometown are seeking for a white male in his mid-40s for reportedly committing crimes you would expect from an episode of Family Guy.
They say the man has been terrorizing the neighborhood cars with his feces, uncermoniously earning the name as the “Bowel Movement Bandit.”
Or “Mad Sh*tter” if you’re nasty.
Reports FOX 8:
According to Akron Police Lieutenant Rick Edwards, the man is in his mid-40’s and incidents like this have been reported since May 2012.
19 reports have been filed in total and the cars have been damaged on the outside, the door handles and the interior, if they were left unlocked.
All of the incidents took place in the Castle Homes neighborhood in Akron.
Some victims reported the incidents thinking it was from a dog.
Lt. Edwards says investigators could perform DNA testing to try to identify the man, but he says for minor crimes, like this, that would be a last resort.
If arrested, the suspect could face charges, such as criminal mischief.
Akron Police are asking you report the man if seen at 330-375-2552.
While the handcuffs sound ideal, a proper asswhooping is definitely needed in this instance. Thank goodness the picture on the next page is censored.